So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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