Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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