I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
