im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
