So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
