The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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