woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
