I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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