are you still at the devil's house?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
