drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
