I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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