She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
