Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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