wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
