If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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