1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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