I'm really into asian looking animals
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
