After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
