whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
