We need to rekindle our bromance
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
