You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
