I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
