Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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