Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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