It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
