they need to just BURY HIM!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
