I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
