i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
