ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
