the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
do nipples grow back?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
