We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
