i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize