Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize