i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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