There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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