just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
