every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize