I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
