sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
