so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
