Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
