We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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