Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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