question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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