so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
