and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
