Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
