found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
