well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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