Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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