I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
