Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
