Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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