I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
