you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
