You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
