do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
