Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
