I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
